My movie review: Vampires Suck

I got to see Vampires Suck before it came out, but unfortunately I couldn't write a review until today, so this film directed from the morons who brought us Epic Movie (10%), Disaster Movie (50%), Date Movie (N/A), Scary Movies 1-4 (all 60% expect the first one, which is at 0%), Meet the Spartans (50%) and the upcoming Scary Movie 5, here is yet another spoof, only this time, something I have been waiting for since  vampires became overrated, here is Vampires Suck.

In Vampires Suck, Bella (or should I say Becca) just moved to a little town where she meets Edward and Jacob an- well it's all just like the Twilight Saga damn it! So they make fun of the saga in this film, and at  first I thought "how are they gonna put the three films in one film?" But it's all worser than the saga. In the original Twilight, they cut out some scenes from the books, but this film cuts out scenes from the movies! Although, this is a unfunny and stupid film, it is the best work the director has done so far, better then all of those stupid movies, expect the Scary Movie Franchise. I'm 100% sure Twilight fans are gonna hate the director for making this film, so I DON'T recommend this film to them. If you think that Vampires Suck, you are gonna LOVE this movie. The film is funny if your an idiot. I like watching spoof but sometimes they can overdo it, like the scene with Alice (from Alice in Wonderland) was really retarded. Some scenes were funny, just like a normal comedy would be, but that doesn't stop the film from falling to pieces.

Final Rating: 

10%

The film is directed by the morons who brought us Epic Movie and Date Movie, do I REALLY need to explain myself?

My Movie Review: Toy Story 3

I went to the midnight premiere, and I saw Toy Story 3, one of the most anticipating films of the summer, AND the year. This is the third installment of the Toy Story franchise. But, are these toys still fun, or gets boring after an hour? Let's find out in my review of Toy Story 3. 

  

In the return of Toy Story, Woody, Buzz, and the rest of the gang are donated by mistake to a day care while their owner, Andy, is ready to depart for college. When the toys arrive at day care they meet new toys, one of the toys named Lots-o'-Huggin' Bear, a cute purple plush toy that's smells like strawberry, but on the other hand, he's kind of, well, watch the movie. Something I realized is that Lotso, nickname for Lots-o'-Huggin' Bear is a very special character to Pixar, they even made an VINTAGE COMMERICAL for Lotso (watch it here.) Another thing I realized in the film was that there was lots of characters, the ones from the previous films, but Pixar adds new characters to the movie, other characters are a scary looking baby doll, an barbie male doll named Ken, and more. LET'S CUT THE CRAP, KEN IS GAY. I mean, look at him, and all of those clothes he has. And the Barbie doll falls in love with Ken, but sometimes she, well, watch the movie.The film was VERY INTENSE. If I had the chance, I would change the ending, cause I really didn't like it, although it made me cry. This film is PERFECT for the whole family., and i'm 100% sure it's gonna win the Oscars for best animation film.

Final Rating: 

100%

WATCH THE FILM!!!!

Peek Of The Week: 6/18/10

Well it's Friday tomorrow, and you know what that means: new movies!! Let's check out the new films out this week in the Peek of the Week.

Toy Story 3 and Jonah Hex are out in wide release this weekend. Before I continue:

 SAVE YOUR MONEY, AND WATCH TOY STORY 3!!!

Anyway, after a decade-long wait, the third installment for the Toy Story franchise is out this weekend and 100% GUARANTEED to easily top #1 at the box office. Jonah Hex, on the other hand, is going to make, about $10 Million.

Toy Story 3 (1 Hr, 49 Mins - Rated G - Animation/Family/Adventure) - Woody, Buzz, and the rest of the toy friends are accidently donated to a day care while their owner Andy, all grown up, is preparing to depart to college.(THIS IS GONNA BE GOOD!!!)

Jonah Hex (‎1hr 21min‎ - ‎Rated PG-13‎ - ‎Action/Adventure/Drama) - The U.S. military makes a scarred bounty hunter with warrants on his own head an offer he cannot refuse: in exchange for his freedom, he must stop a terrorist who is ready to unleash Hell on Earth. (....)

on DVD this week there's The Book Of Eli (50%), When in Rome (60%), and Youth In Revolt (80%).

so tune in this week and check out my reviews of Toy Story 3 and Jonah Hex, but still, GO SEE TOY STORY 3!!

Peek of the Week 3/19/10: Wimpy, Repo, and Bounty Men. EPIC WEEK!

This week is EPIC. Diary Of a Wimpy Kid, The Bounty Hunter, and Repo Men comes out in wide release this week. We also got some other films coming out this week and you can watch at home.

Out on DVD this week is:

Armored (20%)

Astro Boy (60%)
Bandslam (80%)
Did You Hear About the Morgans? (90%)
The Fourth Kind (60%)
The Princess and the Frog (90%)

We also got Broken Embraces; Ninja Assassin (80%); Wonderful World; The Twilight New Moon (10%)

And out in theaters this week (drumroll please) is:

Diary Of A Wimpy Kid (THERE'S NO WAY I'M GONNA MISS THIS!!!): Based on the outrageous series by Jeff Kidney, where Greg Heffley, a wisecracking and undersized middle-school weakling, must navigate and survive the travails of an academic year. 

Also we got The Bounty Hunter (Another film me or you cannot miss): Where Gerard Butler plays as an bounty hunter who is hired to arrested his ex-wife, play by Jennifer Aniston.

And finally, we've got Repo Men (NOT interested.): That Jude Law is a futuristic repo men who fails to make heart transplant payments and must go on the run from his former partner.

BUT WAIT!!! There's MORE interesting films!!!

In limited release this week is:

We've also got City Island (VERY interesting): About a family's bizarre and layered lies to one another come unraveled.

We also got The Runaways (IT HAS DAKOTA FANNING IN IT!!): Starring Dakota Fanning and The Twilight Star playing as Joan Jett and Cherie Currie from the all female 70's band "The Runaways." Now let's wait until they make a movie about Salt N' Pepa.

Also in limited release: Greenberg; Hubble 3D; Neil Young Trunk Show; The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo; The Killing Jar; The Red Baron;

So join me as I review a TON of those films and see them on my blog, and you can join me by posting your review of the film. :)

Peek of the Week: 3/12/10

Well tomorrow is Friday, and you know what that means: NEW MOVIES!!!!! So here is the PEEK OF THE WEEK (DRUMROLL PLEASE)


Out on DVD this week is:

Precious (100%) (Recommendation of the week) 

Old Dogs (40%)
Pirate Radio (60%)
Planet 51 (60%)
The Boondock Saints II
Up in the Air (80%)

Also available: Hachiko: A Dog's Story; Possession; Paris

AND out in theaters this week is a couple of comedies and dramas.

The comedies are:

She's Out of my League (R; 105 Mins; Wide; I'M DYING TO SEE IT)

about a lonely (and geeky) average Joe meets a gorgeous babe that falls for him.

and Our Family Wedding (PG-13; ; 1,500 theaters; A little interesting)

where a couple too suddenly announce their marriage plans, they soon discover that their fathers can wreak a major amount of havoc on their special day.

and in dramas we got:

Green Zone (R; 115 Mins; 2900 theaters; Interested)

where Matt Damon and director Paul Greengrass re-team for their latest electrifying thriller set in the chaotic early days of the Iraqi War. (I swear Matt is going to get nominated for the Oscars next year for this film.)

and finally, there's Remember Me (PG-13; 112 Mins; 1,900 theaters; Interested, even though I hate Robert this film is INTERESTING.)

 that Robert didn't think anyone could possibly understand what he was going through until the day he met Ally through an unusual twist of fate. (As if "remembering Robert Pattison" is that hard.) 

Well, join me in reviewing one of those films by summiting your review for the film here, and tune in to see MY film review of the films.

BEST FILM of the Month: February 2010

YAY!!! It's time for the best film of the month! In case you forgot, The Best Film of the Month is when i pick the top 5 films of the month and the next month I'll show the results. So the nominations for best picture are:

Nomination #1 The Wolfman

Nomination #2 Shutter Island

Nomination #3 The Crazies

Nomination #4 From Paris, With Love

Nomination #5 My Name is Khan

So vote here online at this site and then tune in next month to check the winner! 

Peek of the Week: 2/12/10

Tomorrow at work, when the workers ask you "what are you doing this weekend?" Don't reply "noithing," say "i'm gonnawatch movies, damn it! But anyway, here's the Peek of the Week!

Out on DVD this week is

Couples Retreat (60%)
The Stepfather (30%)
The Time Traveler's Wife (40%)
A Single Man (70%)
Dare
Eleven Minutes
Free Style
Good Hair
Hurricane Season (80%)
I Hate Valentine's Day
Peter and Vandy
The Song of Sparrows

and out in theatres is 
The Wolfman: where Benicio Del Toro stars in the terrifying tale of an ancient, evil curse that turns the afflicted into werewolves when the moon is full. 


also Valentine's day, starring Julia Roberts and an all star cast about ten people in LA whose lives intersect on this special day.


And finally, there's Percy Jackson % The Olympians, based on a crappy fantasy novel.


So join me in review one of those films by posting your review online here at The Movie Crap 

New trailers: Remakes!!!

All right guys, in this post, I'm going to tell you the remakes coming out this year!

First we got A Nightmare on Elm Street! Which comes out in April.

Click here to watch trailer

And they're also making a remake of Clash of the Titans, which will be in 3-D?!?!?! Oh my freaking GODS!!! If you never heard of Clash of the titans well then %&* * ^* @^$%% @@%#!!!!

Clash of the Titans!!!!

And finally, The Crazies, about an airplane crash then zombies then.... IT'S A HORROR FILM.

Click here to see trailer

My film review: Edge Of Darkness

Well like I said, I saw plenty of films last week, Legion (10%,) The Spy Next Door (50%), Tooth Fairy, (40%), When in Rome, and this! This was a important film for me to watch. But was Edge of Darkness great, or did it suck? Let's find out in my review of EDGE OF DARKNESS. 

Edge of Darkness is about a father trying to find who kill his daughter (kind of like Taken (80%), expect that the daughter wasn't dead.) Now let me start by saying that I enjoy seeing Mel Gibson back on the big screen. He was an amazing actor in a amazing films like The Patriot (100%) and Forever Young (100%.) But Gibson in this film was a little bit boring. The film had good action and acting in it, but Mel wasn't the perfect role for this film, especially the main character. In other words, I enjoyed seeing Mel again, but not in this film, not at all. The plot of this film: been there, seen that! But if you're not sure if you're going to enjoy this, then don't watch it and just watch Forever Young or Hamlet (80%.)

Final rating:

70%

I recommend this if you're a huge fan of Mel Gibson, and like crime films.

My film review: Extraordinary Measures

LIke I said, I was too busy to post my reviews, but I saw so many films (my dad is always taking a break!) But anyway, here's my review of Extraordinary Measures.

Extraordinary Measures is the true story of two guys trying to find a cure to save a John Crowley's children. The drama was great, the acting was great, but it felt like something was missing. I mean, Brendan Fraser & Harrison Ford were the perfect cast for this film, but it then became a little boring. I mean seriously, too much talk talk talk! I didn't really find it interesting, unless you're an adult with kids. But it didn't hurt to watch...

60%

Worth watching & a bit boring.

Just try to see it.

Best film of the month: January 2010

Every month I nominate movies that came out that month and I thought was awesome. Well here are the nominations! (In alphabetical order.)

Nomination #1: Creation (90%)

Nomination #2: Edge of Darkness (70%)

Nomination #3: The Lovely Bones (90%)

Nomination #4: Wonderful World

Nomination #5: Youth in Revolt (80%)

So tuned in next month (March) to see which movie won, and you can also vote here at http://www.themoviecrap.blogspot.com/!

Top 5 Box Office of 2/1/10

OH, WHAT! AVATAR IS NOT #1 ANYMORE! THERE'S A NEW CHAMPION IN THE  BOX OFFICE and it had to be Dear John. By the way, last week I was busy packing to move to another country, now that i'm in Bolivia, so I really didn't have time to make new posts, sorry! Well anyway, here's the Top 5!

#5 Tooth Fairy (40%) $6.5 M

#4 Edge of Darkness (70%) $7.0

#3 From Paris with Love $8.1 M

#2 Avatar (10%) 23.6 M

#1 Dear John (20%) 32.4 M

Peek Of The Week: 1/29/10

Well it's Friday tomorrow, when people decide to go to the theatres, but what's coming out? Huh? What's that? U don't know? Fear not! I have the Peek Of The Week!

On DVD this week is:

This Is It

I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell

Little Ashes

Soul Power

Saw VI

Whip it!

Surrogates

The Boys Are Back (70%)

And in theatres this week is

Edge Of Darkness

When In Rome

[ Limited Releases ]

Dread

Falling Awake

Off and Running

Preacher's Kid

Saint John of Las Vegas

and The Weathered Underground (Wednesday)

So join me in review 2-3 of thoswe films, if I can.

New! Trailer Mailer

Here's a new segment on The Movie Crap. Here are new movie trailers.

All right Jeff Kidney Fans! Get ready because the movie trailer for the Diary Of A Wimpy Kid movie came out last week, and let me just say that its totally different from the book.

Click here to watch the trailer.

And as I predicted, Iron Man 2 is coming out. But it's in 3-D. The last time I saw a 3-d movie that's not animated it really didn't look good. But here's the trailer

Click here to see Iron Man 2 Trailer

And finally, you probably already know, but their are making Percy Jackson & The Olyimpic Games into a movie. What's next?! The Hunger Games??

Click here to see the trailer

Top Box Office: Week of 1/18/10

I still can't believe that Avatar is #1 at the Box Office. Oh well, here's the Top 5 Box Office.

#5 The Lovely Bones (90%)  $8.8 M

#4 The Tooth Fairy  $14.5 M

#3 The Book Of Eli (90%) M

#2 Legion $18.2 M

#1 Avatar $36 M

>:(

My Movie Review: Creation

Okay, I admit, maybe I should have seen a more popular movie instead of this at midnight. But anyway, I saw Creation. Is this movie interesting? Well find out in my review of Creation.

Creation is about the true story of Charles Darwin, when he was writing a book called "The Origin of Species." Now, let me start by saying that this was not bad at all. Usually I get bored when watching movies that I never heard of. But God, this was good. It was a little like science class, because you learn some stuff in this film. And in my opinion, I think that this film really deserves a good rating.

Since this movie was really entertaining, I give it

90%

Go watch the goddamn film!!!!!

Peek of The Week 1/22/10

I just wasted 5 minutes remaking the logo for Peek of the Week. But anyway here it is (not the banner, the freakin peek of this week!):

On DVD this week is:

*Gamer

*The Invention of Lying

*Across the Hall

*Che

*Death in Love

*Greta

and No Impact Man: The Documentary

and coming out this week at theatres is

*Extraordinary Measures (PG)  about a old man that teams up with a couple to find a cure to save his children (ehh...

*Legion (R) about ANOTHER apocalypse that happens when God sends a legion of angels to destroy the world (what kind of movie is this?!?!?!)

and finally,

*The Tooth Fairy (PG) about a hockey player named Tooth Fairy (WTF) and then turns into the REAL tooth fairy.

and there's also

House of Numbers (unrated; limited)

The Paranoids (R; limited)

To Save a Life(PG-13; limited;)

Rajneeti (Unrated; limited)

Creation (PG-13;  limited)

well join me in review those film (well some of them) here at this site.

My Movie Review: The Book Of Eli

I am very sorry that it took me this long to post this review. But anyway, here it is.

 Yeah!! Finally! Denzel is finally a badass!! This movie had alot of action in it. It was worth watching. I like most of the movie, but they were some parts that were boring parts in this film, but still, it didn't hurt to watch. The only thing I wonder is what target these people were trying to get. Is this movie for kids? Parents (might not like it) teens (might like it) but if you like violence, or action, this is your film.

90%

I do NOT recommend this film to parents, just teens. And if you like action or blood (and you're not a adult) so see it!

Top Box Office Jan 15 - 17

And once again, Avatar is #1at the Top Box Office. The Book of Eli didn't make it all the way to the top, shame on you. Well, here's the Top 5...

#5 Sherlock Holmes (80%) $9,825,000

#4 Alvin &  The Chipmunks: The Squeakel  (40%) $11,500,000

#3 The Lovely Bones (90%) $17,060,000

#2 The Book Of Eli $31,615,000

#1 Avatar $41,300,000

.................

My Film Review: The Lovely Bones

This thriller directed by Peter Jackson (Director; District 9) is about "a story of a life and everything that came after." But really, this blog post is about the movie and everything that came after... (That was just lame.) Well anyway, is this movie "lovely" (oh God now that was lame!) or bad? Let's see in my review of The Lovely Bones.

                                                             The Lovely Bones is a bestselling novel about a young girl that gets murdered and she watches the newest stuff at Earth from heaven. But the killer is still alive, the father won't rest his case on the crime, and the mother just can't get on with his life. I never finished the novel, so I was new to the movie. I like most of the movie, expect the ending, because I had expected a different ending. But anyway, it was entertaining, maybe the best thriller of the year. Most of the time in the movie I had to cover my eyes with my hands, because some parts were really scary! I'm really impressed with Peter Jackson and his work, and I don't understand why this film got bad ratings.

Well since this film was entertaining and "spooky," then I give it....

90%

I do recommend this film to the novel fans, and Peter Jackson fans. If you have nothing to watch at the theatre, and you have kids, (around 14), just take them to see this movie.

Peek of the Week 1/15/10

Well, I am happy this week, well kind of. Not really because of the tradegy in Haiti. One of my favorite teachers, Ms. Gornail, I heard her family was in Haiti during the earthquake. I hope they are ok. But on the bright side, my birthday is on Sunday, plus it's on the day of The Golden Globe awards, and I'm NOT goin to miss that! So that's what good about this week, but anyway, tomorrow I'm going to see

• 
  
  The Book of Eli
  
  
  
• 
  
   The Spy Next Door
  
  
  
• 
  
  The Lovely Bones
  
  
  

So join me in reviewing those movies by posting YOUR review on this site. Good night and Happy B-day to me!

Top Box Office

I am pissed off right now. Not cause I have 3 tests to study for, but because Avatar is STILL #1 at the top box office. I was hoping that Youth In Revolt was going to beat it, But Youth In Revolt didn't even make it to the top 5! >:(. Well anyway here's the Top 5..




#5 It's Complicated $11.0 M
#4 Daybreakers $15.0 M
#3 Alvin & The Chipmunks: The Squeakel  $16.3 M
#2  Sherlock Holmes $16.6 M
#1 Avatar (Again) $48.5 M

Maybe this week The Book Of Eli might be it, I hope...

My Film Review: Youth In Revolt

Avatar has been #1 at the box office for a long time, but that's only cause there were no new movies during Christmas Break. But now that this movie is out, I'm pretty sure Avatar is going down. Youth In Revolt might be #1 on the box office, but will it entertain me?

Let's find out in my movie review on Youth In Revolt

 Youth In Revolt is based on the novel Youth In Revolt: The Journals of Nick Twisp, which is about a boy who falls in love with Sheeni, who has a boyfriend name Trent, and in order to win her heart, Nick turns into a deliquent with the help of his rebellious alter ego, Francois. But when things get out of hand, will Nick be able to stay with his love, or even keep in touch??

 I saw this film today, and I gotta say, it was worth watching. It wasn't what I expected from the trailer & book, but at least it was good. And since it was kind of funny, this movie gets a better rating from me. Michael Cera plays Nick Twisp, and he does a GREAT job in this film. He sometimes overdoes it, but Cera, he's like the perfect guy for the main character. And since what happens in the end, I'm pretty sure there's going to be a sequel, because there's a sequel to the Youth In Revolt novel.

So since this movie was sometimes funny and worth watching, my rating for Youth In Revolt is...

                           80%

 I recommend this film to teens and sex-addicts & Michael Cera fans.

Peek of the Week 1/8/10

Yay!!! For the first time this year, new movies!!! Here's your peek of the week

The movies coming out tomorrow, January 8, 2010 is:

• 
  
  Youth In Revolt
  
  
  
• 
  
  Leap Year
  
  
  
• 
  
  Daybreakers
  
  
  
• 
  
  Crazy on the Outside (limited)
  
  
  
• 
  
  Wonderful World (Limited)
  
  
  
• 
  
  Mine (Limited)
  
  
  
• 
  
  Waiting for Armageddon (limited)
  
  
  
• 
  
  Bitch Slap (limited)
  
  
  
• 
  
  Love Impossible
  
  
  
• 
  
  Flooding With Love For The Kid
  
  
  

So join me, in reviewing a few of those films by summiting your review for the movies here at this blog, then afterwards see MY reviews posted here by next week.